Saturday, March 06, 2004, 4:28 PM

My screwed up love life.

i like marc.i know he LOVES me.i aprreciate that.A LOT.I get confused.i'm going 17.Going through this major phase in life.Not sure how to handle.Complicated love relationship with marc.So complicated to me that i just dunno how to put them down in words.I expect some things from him.It takes two hands to clap.I need the Break.But he doesnt get it.He believes the break will break us apart.For me,i believe it will bring us back closer and better.
We have different thinkings.Different family backgrounds.Different kind of life.i'm very glad and grateful that he's there for me whenever i'm feeling down.He gives me the support i need.At other times,what i said doesnt seem to matter to him.Guess we are both too stubborn to accept each other.He's too clingy for his own good.Whereas for me,i'm too bo chup.He claims i dont care/love him.He believes the break is due to the presence of a THIRD PARTY.a break doesnt always have to do with someone intervening between us.It could be cos the difference is there.To handle it,a break would have been much better for us.If not,things will always stay this way.and we will both feel that we sacrifice more for each other.Marc cant handle the break.A break is as good as a break up to him.But maybe a break up could be the best for the both of us.Yet,I dont want to lose him forever.
On the whole,things may seem fine on the surface.Cos i seldom voice out my opinion.i dont feel he respects me and ALWAYS expect s me to call him whever i'm free.i prefer spending some time to myself.It makes calling him or talking to him a forced chore to me.At a point of time,i felt so stressed i feel like smashing all my phones and cutting off all my lines.-screwed-